FetLife Picture & Video Search

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In response on original post PSA: Ladies, John Baku Is Using You

FetLife has long been moving towards (and clearly HAS moved) into a (1) porn site, (2) pickup/dating site. If anyone looks at the general direction of all social media platforms its that it will eventually fall to the lowest common denominator for one key reason – that’s where the moolah can be had.  money money money

It may not have intended to be that way, but that IS what eventually happens.

No matter how targeted a social media website, how noble its initial ideas, purity of any concept is eventually corrupted by the desire to make dough. To do that it has to be popular and then has to entice folks to pay for stuff they’re really after. Facebook, Google/Youtube, Fox, etc. – same soup different bowl. All media organizations eventually sacrifice its ethics or standards for cash because that’s democratic capitalism in action (good, bad, or neither) but the big secret is Don’t Have to Buy it. You don’t have to support their content, their advertising, or their revenue.

Exhibit A: I’ve long since used image blockers and such because, frankly, I DON’T want to see everyone’s genitalia and orifices splashed up on my feed. I’m not here to wank or perv. While I was more active in my early days here, I have nearly all but dropped off as the quality of discussion and civility has eroded drastically.

Exhibit B: I never encourage or force a sub of mine to post pictures they may later regret having come out later. Put something in someone else’s control and eventually it will be used not as you intended.

Because its not about the probability of Risk, its about managing the cost of Regret

Yes, these are my choice, and I’m not saying that should be your choice – but it does illustrate a point…  WHY on earth does everyone feel the need to post anything and everything including pics and vids? WHY would you hand over such private content to a strangers control & ownership? (Do you own or manage FL’s servers – no) and Why do you act surprised when FL acts like any other media platform and tries to monetize user content?

Is it the right thing to do??  That’s debatable. One thing that can clearly be said is that any change of how one handles users content/assets should always be an Opt-in versus Opt-out.  However this has been a long running argument, usually in favor of the businesses responsible for the hosting, administration, and monetization of content.  The other major issues is that by monetizing user content without their explicit Opt-in you are not only raising issues of privacy and consent of use, but potentially harming users own revenue mechanisms.  For those exhibitionists that put hundreds of photos and/or videos up, don’t they have a right to make money on viewer-ship too?

This is an old rule, but a valid one: if you don’t want compromising personal details, photos or videos to be later discovered, don’t put it on the web.

This is the first rule of life on the internet, and while it doesn’t excuse others behavior it is the reality.  This also does not obviate the community raising awareness, calling for a change in policy, etc. But if you really want to safeguard yourself one must take that as a matter of Personal Responsibility.

There is another old rule, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

If you really want to take a stand don’t just voice your concern – ACT in such a fashion as to remove the means.

  • For those trying to make money, delete your content and put them other Paid Subscription sites.
    • Move the revenue away from FL while preserving your own revenue stream
    • Yes its a pain, but its doing something versus just whining about it
  • For those with privacy concerns, delete your images and reclaim yourself
    • That way if FL restores the image you have their direct action of consent violation.
    • Stop making a showcase of yourself for everyone to see in the first place, or at least not acting so surprised when its used
  • Vote with your dollar, don’t pay for any service you don’t support or agree.
  • Pass the word around so others have the info to make an informed decision for themselves.

‘Cause shit always goes wrong at some point – the question becomes what choices can you make within your sphere of influence or control? Can you live without the Facebooks, FetLifes, Googles, Walmarts, Comcasts and Verizons when they fuck you over? Can you make the changes needed to pull support from unethical behaviors, or placate yourself to acceptance?

Yeah – I know, this comes across harsh. We as a community have a problem with those taking advantage of others and violating consent, which is important to acknowledge. More important however is that we act accordingly; make decisions that help to protect ourselves; be a little more judicious and a little less naive; stop looking to everyone else to protect us from ourselves.

JB of FetLife isn’t your service top to protect you from yourself. This doesn’t mean he’s right in doing what he’s doing. Far from it. Its taking liberties as a matter of implied consent, something I don’t support. At the same time, it seems that everyone needs to review what Personally Responsible means.

Are we as individuals and a community prepared to own our part of the consequences as well as the inconvenience to “do without” when you need to make a choice between what you support or don’t…??

That’s up to you to decide.


PS: I’ve said my piece, right, wrong or indifferent. Agree or not but I will not be back here again to check on comments or respond to flame war tactics. If its hit a nerve, then maybe that’s a good reason to mull it over before acting. Perhaps Ask yourself why you feel such a visceral response?? Does it hint at something true??